you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
