i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
