Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
