**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
