return my video game
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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