Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
