and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
