Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
