I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
