i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize