I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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