Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
