it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
