She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she peed on how many people?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
