I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
