I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
