Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
