I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
