When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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