It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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