You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
