Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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