Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
