You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
