before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
40s are totally the cure
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
