i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
