did you get engaged???
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
