oh god the rape fog is back!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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