how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
