You're completely useless in the revolution.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
