Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
