I wish my penis had an off switch
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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