I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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