Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize