I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
