Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
