So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The power of my boobs compel you
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
