How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize