Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
