Is it because I queefed?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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