Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
