Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
