the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The power of my boobs compel you
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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