Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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