WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
