i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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