i jhust puked up my retainher.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
