I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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