It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
