we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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