WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
