i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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