Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
