We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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