I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish you could order shots online.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
