Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
