Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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