We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Banned from zoo.
Again?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just pee around me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
