i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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