Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize