he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
