Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
